All Girl Group

So today is Saturday (one of the two days a week were I don’t have to cope with the pressures of school). Just yesterday, I found out in history class that our teacher was giving us a new assigment. This assignemt was to be done in groups, and she made the groups (thank god because I don’t know many people in that class). It turns out that im the only guy in the group. Some guys would consider that a good thing, but people like me who are shy woiuld rather work alone. So like I said in my last post, you should break the ice as soon as possible. And I started thinking of something to say. Its hard to think of something other than commenting on the weather. But I noticed that all the people who’s names start with “M” were in this group so I just said it casually and they laughed. I breathed a sigh of relief. After that we talked every once in a while. Although they were all friends, so I could not engage in some of their conversations. There is one girl who I was paired up with in bio last year and we are comfortable with eachother. This girl is the most inapproprate girl you’ll find. Later on one girl shared a story about how she almost adopted a penguin from the Toronto Zoo. She continued talking and then I found my chance. I asked her what she was going to name it. And she answered an we finally had a comfortable conversation. I started to get even more comfortable, almost like how I feel at home (where I don’t have and anxiety). Back to the girl who is inappropriate. She started talking about a school trip to Africa to build houses and she said she was going. Another girl in the group was also going. And the inappropraite girl was like “im gonna be 18 then so I can f**k older guys there”. I was like WTF and I even gave her a look, and she laughed. At this point I thought that these girls have no idea that I suffer from a (in my opinion) very serious anxiety problem. She made many such remarks like this and everytime I would have a wierd reaction (I was sitting right next to her). I would just look at the other girls and shake my head in disgust (jokingly). And then the inappropriate girl asked me if she made me uncomfortable and I answered with a (surprisingly) witty joke. They laughed. After that I was completely relaxed. Later on they started talking about which guys are hot (people like the guys from Twilight), so I couldn’t really contribute to the conversation. But then they asked me who I thought was hot. I thought about it and then they changed the question to which teacher I think is hot because they thought the guy subsitute teacher we had that day was hot. I answered by saying the name of a teacher I had. I was thinking about how they would react. Their reaction surprised me. They were like “omg every guy says that”. Then the inappropriate girl took my side and said that teachers eyes are amazing (they are!!). Even though we are going to PRESENT this project on Monday to the class, I was completely comfortable even though my heartbeat startes racing when I just hear the word presentation from my teachers.

When other people laugh at your jokes it is a great boost to your confidence. Even if you feel like you are about to get a heart attack from your panic attack, as long as you give the impression that you are comfortable (stay cool), other people will be easy to get along with. These girls had no idea that I have social anxiety, this was because of the fact that I made jokes comfortably. Another thing that helped was when I stayed in the converations. I had no relevance to the penguin story but I jumped in by asking what she was going to name it, after that I was relevant.

This was a great step in progress in my opinon. I have always had trouble talking to girls. I’ve learned through this experience that breaking the ice helps (I’ve been in all girl groups before, and I remember hardly ever talking and when I did talk it was so quiet that they couldn’t hear me). Also jokes help a lot. If a joke lands properly it makes a HUGE difference in they way you feel. I actually wish that we had more time in class to talk (this is really wierd for a guy like me), because it was an exhilerating experience. I left that class feeling better than I did in a long time.

Curbing School Shyness – One Month Plan

So, im in grade 12 in high school, and I know exactly how challenging it is, especially for an introverted person. I have always been shy, but lately I’ve been starting to think this shyness has evolved into social anxiety. How many of you guys notice that at certain times around your closest friends you don’t feel shy whatsoever? Its wierd sometimes when my friends and I are having a good time, they see a side of me that they’ve never seen before, and they get really surprised. The new side of me that they see is the real me. At home I have an older sister and a younger brother. I don’t have any anxiety problems at home that is why as soon as a I get home from school, I don’t want to leave the house. I don’t go out much because of this reason, but lately I have started (this is part of my plan). I want to curb my shyness because it is causing me to waste my potential. At home I am the funniest guy around, not just with my siblings, but cousins, and also family friends. At school there are days where I chill with my best friends and still don’t even talk. Heres my newfound plan to decrease the effect of my shyness on my life. These are basic things you can do to help you get more comfortable at school.

1.    First things first, realize that you need help, this is most important. In all cases of rehabilitation, one must realize that they have a problem.

2.   Keep your head up no matter what. When you’re walking in the hallways walk like you are confident, this will lead to you actually feeling more confident.

3.   This one is like the last one but instead, try to smile as much as you can, smiling helps put your brain in a good mood, even if you are stressed out.

4.   Answer a question  out loud in atleast one of your classes, don’t worry about getting it wrong. I found that doing this simple thing actually helps me loosen up and feel comfortable for a few hours.

5.   Answer a question in all of your classes.

6.   So many times I have been sat next to someone for a whole semester and never spoke to them once. This is bad. As soon as you are put next to someone, break the ice, and just say hi. I had trouble talking to girls, and in a bio class on the first day I was sat next to a girl. After a few minutes I immediatley started a conversation about how I was going to drop the class. Knowing that I was comfortable with her made her comfortable with me. And we carried on the converstation, and had nice converstaions for the rest of the semester. This was hard for me at first but you could wait until you get an assignment or test back and then ask them what they got on it. I had troubl breaking the ice with this guy in my history class. It has been almost 3 months since school started and I finally broke the ice with him yesterday, but we feel comfortable already.

7.   Get something new in your life, and mix up the routine. Buy a pet, or a new video game that you can talk about with your friends.

8.   Try to stay away from facebook. Its been proven that people who use facebook are more likely to be depressed. And people like us have enough problems just getting through a normal day.

9.   I have found that those deep beathing exercises don’t actually work. I have tried doing them before big presentations, and they end up making it worse, because they make you more focused on the reason you’re panicking. It may work for you, as long as it does it, just use it.

10.   Last but not least, find a hobby. I know you may have seen this written somewhere else and just skipped over it. But trust me, it works. Make music, draw (I draw alot, i’ll upload some pics in a few days), buy an instrument, or if you have a pet teach it some tricks, there are so many things to do. This is one of the best things to do to stop anxiety because it relaxes you, and takes your mind away from the pressures of the world, and takes you into your own world, where you are in control. Even reading an interesting book helps you escape the real world for a while.

There you go. Some of these may seem basic, but they work wonders. Some of you younger guys, you should try these early, it is easier to curb shyness at a younger age. But like I said I’m in grade 12, and 17 years old and they still work for me. Remember take it slow, you do not want to push your self to do things like answer a question because if you push yourself, it is the same feeling as the teacher forcing you to read aloud. Do it because you want to do it, not because the world wants you to do it.

If you guys have any more techniques, just comment. I’d love to hear them. I hope this post helps some of you guys deal with shyness and social anxiety.

Hello world!

So, this is my first ever blogging attempt so wish me luck!?

I am a teenager living in Canada. I go to highschool so most of my posts will appeal to teens. I plan on writing about various things related to school, media, and other things that are interesting. Stay tuned!